i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
