i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
