i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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