it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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