That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Green mimosas i think yes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
