Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
