I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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