I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
