Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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