This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Boobs speak an international language.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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