this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
