what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
