Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
