And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this will be a night to untag.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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