He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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