Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
