Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
