Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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