i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
