ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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