So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
