butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
