My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
