is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
