Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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