Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize