i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
