Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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