you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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