I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
