Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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