Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
