He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
