Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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