thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
