I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
