I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Randomize
