I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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