1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
