I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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