I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
