hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
