what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
