So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
