Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
