Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
