just come out here and I will go home with you...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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