just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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