Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
