Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
